mother's day

It's hard to believe that this is my 3rd Mother's Day. It's even harder to believe that last year at this time I was pregnant. It seems like Cade has always been here with us, just as much as Jackson has. I simply cannot imagine life without them.

This has been the hardest year, by far. I feel like two kids has kicked me in the ass, and I'm just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every day seems like a struggle, but at the same time I am still filled with wonder and awe that Jon and I created these two beautiful children.

The other day, after school, Jackson was eating a bagel in Blue Marble, which is a little ice cream and coffee shop connected to NYC Explorers. I was in the school room, while Cade played with the toys after being in his stroller for too long. I could see Jackson from where I stood in the school room. He sat at the table for 45 minutes, eating his bagel, and I kept checking on him. Halfway through his bagel, he started waving hello to me. I responded by blowing a kiss, which he copied. Then I gave myself a hug and he did the same. We kept doing this game til he finished his bagel. It was one of the sweetest moments I've ever had with Jackson, and thinking about it makes my heart melt. It makes all the whining, crying, and fussing worth it.

This morning I got to sleep til 9, like the past two years. We went and got my favorite decaf latte from South Side Coffee Shop. When I came downstairs after a leisurely shower, Jon, Jackson and Cade gave me my special and beautiful Mama's Day Card.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's in my life that make mothering possible. Mimi, Bebe - who could ask for more wonderful mothers. Nikki, Brett, Ruth, Roxana, Jane, Judy, Joyce - thank you for helping me through it just by doing it yourselves. And to my friends who don't have children (yet) - Gwyn, Kate - thank you for helping me mother Jackson and Cade too.

Thank you Jon for supporting me throughout this all - as I try to be the best mother I can be.